youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
