yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
