I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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