Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i would one night stand the shit outta him
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
