Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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