Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize