I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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