So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
