I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
