If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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