Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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