it wasn't lemon gatorade
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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