Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
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