i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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