haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
