The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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