Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize