i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
