check it out our google latitudes are spooning
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
