just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There are leaves in my underwear?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
