Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
