god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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