just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
