Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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