He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
