My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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