What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
