Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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