I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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