What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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