So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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