You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
