I like to think it a success when the cops are called
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
