I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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