I'm so fucking centered right now
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
