Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
