I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
