so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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