i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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