i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
