the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
