I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she peed on how many people?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
