Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize