Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
