I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
