I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
