i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
