At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
should my penis look like a turkey
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
