I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
