Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
