she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
