Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
