How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
