can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
