good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
