OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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