She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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