I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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