Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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