If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
