Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
