Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
