Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
