guys are not supposed to queef...right?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
