Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
