Porn is love you can see.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
