i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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